Why Knowing Your Personality Type Can Create a Fulfilling Life, Part 3

How often do you need to get tossed into the "I suck" spirals before you realize you are perfectly perfect the way you are. Let your light shine, dear one.

~Tricia Daye

Part 2 covered the reasons why knowing the personality of ourselves and others is so important. Now, let’s discuss some tips on how each personality type can lean into their strengths while working with, not against, their weaknesses when planning a new habit-change goal. 

Learning who we are also comes with the responsibility of enacting change. Change does not need to go in destructive sweeps – unless you want it to. It can be a subtle perception tweak that helps us better angle our life or lifestyle to one with more fulfillment.

Bringing any change into our lives usually involves the art of habit-building – retraining our mind, body, and emotions until a new autopilot exists. As you've probably figured out by now, the art of habit is a masterpiece for some and a sloppy mess for others. What works for a by-the-book fact-prone personality will not work for an in-the-moment risk-taker personality type. 

For that reason, some helpful tips are listed below for each of you. 

Success methods for each personality type 

ENFJ

Breaking the big-picture goal down into daily or weekly chunked time demands will provide a clearer picture of resource alignment. Analyze the chunked time (for your plan) against any commitments you provide to others and note areas of possible hindrance. 

Identify what interfering obligations you can terminate, pause, or shift in order for you to meet the commitment to yourself. This step may be difficult, but it'll prevent burnout and help you meet your goal. Temporarily say "no" to new commitments until your goal is completed. 

ENFP 

Due to the ever-shifting enticements in the playground called life, embedding your 'why' into your mind will be of utmost importance. Self-education on the topic of your goal is an excellent method for reinforcing your why. 

In advance, creating a practical, easy-to-follow guide on avoiding distractions and not overcommitting (saying "no" to yourself and others) will help with time management for both goal and non-goal obligations. Decide beforehand when and only when it'll be appropriate to say "yes" and then stick with it. 

ENTJ 

Identify ahead of time someone to confide in for your celebrations & obstacles while you're working toward a goal - a mentor type is a good option. If, after some time, you realize that your approach is not reaping the desired rewards, pause and adjust. This would be a good time to call on your confidant for alternative views. 

Focus on daily MicroWins™ (aka, small wins), especially when things seem rocky. With a hard-charge, go-get-'em personality, it's essential to build both social and relaxation time into your goal forecast each week (preferably every 4 to 5 days); otherwise, you may feel like you're burning at all ends with no way out. 

ENTP 

Identify non-traditional methods for building new habits and goal attainment. Decipher the steps that need to be systematically done to get there and then subsequently bring those actions to life using the stacking method – incorporate the 'new' habit action with an existing routine. 

Putting trigger reminders in specific areas and timelines (e.g., placing a sticky pad on the front door for you to see in the morning) is also helpful. 

The key is to do all of the preparation ahead of time while still being excited about the new goal to avoid indifference and boredom that comes from focusing on ordinary tasks. 

ESFJ 

With a firm reliance on social acceptance and accolades of a job well done, joining local groups of like-minded individuals who know about your goal and can act as a support network would be valuable. 

Before pursuing a goal, do a solo brainstorming session and, as honestly as possible, create multiple lists for yourself: 

• How will this new change foster stability and harmony (with self)? 

• Why is allowing myself to move in this chosen direction okay?

• What will be gained from the change, and why is it important to me?

Lean on these findings when you need a boost. 

ESFP 

A lack of desire for long-term planning or focus can be mediated with modest upfront effort. When devising a goal, identify the overarching critical elements of change that reinforce your desired end state. 

Then, commit to only one element at a time and be creative with bringing it into your life each day. Do this for a predetermined short period whether you reach the ‘end’ or not, then shift to the next element. Continuously shifting from one to the next and back and forth – gaining growth along the way. 

Base the predetermined period on your typical attention span limits and then tack a tad bit more to it. Be honest with yourself about your progress and your goals – don't dismiss them.

Identify your triggers and counteractions ahead of time. Criticism and boredom are likely big ones. 

ESTJ 

Researching alternative avenues that are based on science (even if they're far-fetched) can provide options that may work better than what you've relied on in the past. This can help disrupt hard-to-budge opinions about what will and won’t work. 

Some pre-planning is pivotal:

• Find someone outside your network to confide in about your goal and its hurdles (join a hiking group, hire a therapist, connect with your favorite aunt).

• Pre-define what 'not working' looks like in order to give yourself an 'out' should you realize your goal's path isn't the right fit. 

• In preparation for curve balls, identify at least two different options for tackling a goal's micro-tasks.

ESTP 

Being a natural shifter and changer makes habit creation relatively easy for this personality. The preference of self-reliance on past experience to a conventional path will almost always lead to growth and the implementation of new discoveries. 

The cautionary guidance here is the opposite of many other personalities. You can benefit from discovering an outward lens on the nuances of your external sphere. 

To do this:

• Identify the significant life influences (people, places, things, rules, expectations…) that play a prominent recurring role in your life.

• Determine how this new habit change will impact any of them.

• If the impact will be perceived as more than average (from the external perspective), include consideration for that influence in planning your new goal's path. 

INFP 

There are a few things this personality type should lean into when devising their goal's path, as well as when they are in the midst of its action:

• Acknowledge that there are many presently known paths for your desired goal but stick with one. Don't allow yourself to get distracted by another approach simply because it 'may' be a better option. 

• Aim low. When high expectations are mirrored with self-criticism for not meeting the self-imposed expectations, self-defeating patterns can ensue. There's integrity in honoring realistic expectations and allowing yourself to aim small with pride. 

• Hold onto your purpose, reinforce boundaries, and counteract imposing thoughts of possibly hurting others (due to prioritizing your personal goal) through mirror work. 

Every day look into your mirrored reflection and say things like, "I'm good enough." "My needs are just as important as everyone else's." "I killed it yesterday - I did x, y, z and am one day closer to {fill in the blank}." 

INFJ 

Despite a passion for growth and expansion, hiccups can happen when a goal isn't broken down into very detailed, manageable tasks with a predictable daily pattern. It's a good practice to occasionally remind yourself how these small actions feed into the larger picture in order to keep the momentum. 

Struggles are a natural experience when tackling change and overcoming them alone can brew a tinge of failure or burnout. Identifying a person ahead of time to turn to for advice would be incredibly beneficial. 

Pre-plan mini celebrations for meeting specific yet insignificant milestones. Plus, remember to incorporate relaxation time into your goal plan.

INTJ 

This is another personality where habit creation (aka meeting a goal) comes more naturally – that is, as long as the goal matters to you and isn't confined within the status quo. 

For instances when a goal is placed onto you, and the logic isn't fully available (e.g., a doctor's recommendation), find a baseline understanding that can feed into your 'why' to propel your start and get out of the information-probing cycle. 

Devise multiple paths/actions/tasks that will lead to the same end state (your goal) in case something unexpected happens. Identify opposing (not ideal) outcomes and a potential mediation for each option. This is to avoid singlemindedness that may lead to self-blame for failure.

While it's against your nature, keep a list of suggestions (as they relate to your goal), even if they are from someone inferior or a bad idea. You never know what creative juices will flow when looking at them written down together. 

INTP 

A brilliant mind is often brilliant because it can see many patterns simultaneously. With all the possibilities and their endless offshoots, deciding on the best course of action for this personality type can be challenging. 

Simply, the best (and most challenging) method is to make and stick with a plan - with minimal exceptions. You have the wherewithal to know what path will work best for your goal. You've already researched it, analyzed it, and argued it. All you have to do now is devise steps 1, 2, 3, 4, … and stick with them regardless of imperfection. 

There may be room for juggling two different goal paths simultaneously (bouncing between them as you go), but do this with caution, as it may cause more chaos than it's worth.

Before diving into a goal, define when 'imperfection' is allowed to be a terminating factor. In other words, stipulate a precise reason why one course of action can be terminated. If that reason is not met, then the current goal method continues. 

ISFJ 

The heartfelt blend of selfless giving, firm commitment with a do-it-myself passion, reliance on tradition, sensitivity to criticism, and respect for meticulousness can quickly throw off some goals. This combination can hard charge a goal to completion but also halt it when specific criteria are shattered. 

To help stay on course:

• Start by challenging the aspect of change.

• Determine the best and worst case for not moving forward with the change goal AND determine the best and worst case for moving forward with the change goal.

• Reflect back on the best-case outcomes to keep you moving forward.

Purposely paint a larger picture of goal success to avoid sabotage from overzealous meticulousness. Take a hard look at where external demands must be terminated, paused, or altered to accommodate your new goal. 

ISFP 

First, break your change goal into segments (steps 1, 2, 3,...). Then, while only focusing on the first segment, set a short-term timeline for committing to that first segment, define what success looks like, and define boundaries that will help you avoid distraction and stress. 

Refrain from considering the rest of your goal's path at this time. Simply know that the rest will be devised in the next 'present moment' once you've mastered the first segment.

A friendly competition could be helpful if you know someone with the same or similar goal. But lay out specific details ahead of time to keep it from escalating into an extreme competition. 

ISTJ 

This is one of the best personalities for follow-through and commitment to goals, but also one with rigidity and tight perimeters. Self-reliance is a strength and weakness here. Before entering into a goal, brainstorm two things:

• Determine which area/task/obligation within your plan can be outsourced. You can also do this for external obligations that will interfere with your goal’s demands. This not only prevents burnout but also shares some of the burdens. 

• Plan for curve balls. Give yourself at least two reliable alternative paths/actions/tasks that lead to the same end state in case something unexpected happens.

Give yourself grace with the possibility of engaging in the 'wrong goal.' Schedule periodic check-ins to see if you are within the expected progress curve. If things are not going as expected, avoid self-blame by nodding at the learning moment and tweak or terminate the future path accordingly. 

ISTP 

With a natural love for spontaneity, it's best to plan ahead for shifts in rhythm. Have an idea about how you will still accomplish your plan within a new setting, even if the setting is unknown (get creative). Also, if possible, figuring out how to combine your goal tasks with creative projects can keep the motivation flowing. 

Long-term commitment means different things to different people. Assess where your commitment time limit is, and then create a self-defined end-state that goes beyond initial wins. Don’t just enjoy the win and then move on before hitting the end. 

Also, try not to dismiss the advice from others (who may know a thing or two), as it makes the path easier.